Parents preparing for divorce often experience intense anxiety. Most people have heard at least a few horror stories about unfair custody arrangements that damage a parent’s bond with their children.
The good news for those worried about a total loss of custody is that such scenarios are highly unusual. The New Jersey family courts typically try to keep both parents involved in the children’s lives. It is common for both adults to have a reasonable share of overnight parenting time as well as a degree of legal authority. Parents can either work out their own custody arrangements or litigate in family court when they cannot agree on appropriate terms.
When judges oversee contested custody cases, they have to consider a variety of different factors, including the relationships the parents have with the children, their living arrangements and even their health. They may also consider the children’s wishes.
Children can influence custody but don’t control it
A child’s preferences can be one of the factors that a judge considers when handling a contested custody case. However, the child does not decide where they live. Instead, they express their wishes, and the judge decides how much weight to give their preferences along with other factors when making the final custody determination.
Typically, children over the age of 12 who demonstrate adequate maturity can voice their preferences. The reasoning they give for expressing a certain preference can influence how much weight a judge assigns to their wishes.
For example, if a child expresses enthusiasm about playing video games with one parent, a judge may give that very limited consideration. However, if they express concerns because of an unhealthy dynamic with that parent, those concerns can carry more weight.
The final determination for custody matters does not fall to the child in a litigated custody scenario. Instead, the judge decides what is best for the child based on their wishes and a host of other considerations.
Parents who understand what influences a judge’s determination may feel more confident about pursuing shared custody during a divorce. Even those who have a difficult relationship with their children still have an opportunity to spend liberal amounts of time with them after a divorce.